My life at this point is filled with exploration and confusion. At eighteen years old, I am free to discover the whole wide world for myself while remaining sheltered and safe at a gorgeous Boston college. I am constantly told that my life is an open book, my future a blank slate, and that I can be anything I want. The most positive clichés surround and describe my being. But life will not be filled with this blissful freedom forever, and it is expected that upon graduation I will choose a career path and gracefully leave the years devoted to “finding myself” in the campus quadrangle.
I am a communications major with aspirations of becoming a journalist. I want to write for a nationally acclaimed publication, seeing my name prominently in the byline of provocative stories. These are lofty goals, and perhaps unattainable, but it doesn’t hurt to have a dream towards which to work. However, this ambition is overshadowed by another, at times more pressing, hope: I want to do mission work in Romania. I want to devote part of my life to holding abandoned babies and fighting for reform in the post-Communist country. It is a noble fantasy some say, yet illogical and a waste of time for a smart girl like me. I realize that following in this direction entails reducing, if not giving up entirely, my aim of becoming a journalist. And therein lies the intricacy of the most important choice I have to make.
I must decide whether to the follow the practical or the philanthropic path, the route that leads to professional fulfillment or the one that results in deeply personal satisfaction. To complicate my choice, I must base the decision not only on my individual sentiments, but I am also obliged to consider the wishes of my family, friends, and all those who conspired to get me where I am today. I stand on the brink of a very bright future, free to pave my own way yet eternally indebted: to my parents for raising me well and sending me to a college that thrills and engages me, to my grandparents for their ceaseless support, to God for blessing me with every opportunity imaginable. Always loyal, my family longs to see me put my degree to sensible use, to stay safe in America and take a realistic approach to life. While I love to write and trust that my career endeavors would be rewarding, I long to branch out and fulfill idealistic ambitions in Romania. Am I willing to sacrifice security—both physical and financial—in an attempt to achieve it for little souls less fortunate than I?
Perhaps most of all, could I push my own selfish urges away and sacrifice comfort for what would prove to be the most difficult task of my life?
I am torn; while I would find contentment either way, it is true happiness that I seek. I feel that it inevitably hinges on this loaded decision.
Student Scholarships is the journalism scholarships and journalism careers website that helps students with college and university decisions.
